To Lucy,

Today you would have been 'Sweet 16!' I don't know how these years are passing by so quickly. The build up has seemed so much worse this year. I don't know why. I guess 16 seems like it's another 'big' milestone. You'd be in your final year in school, ready to sit your exams. What interests would you have? Would there be boyfriends? Hormone tantrums? Now the day is here, it's just another day of wondering because the truth is, each and every day of my life I think of you at some point and wonder what if.

For the first time this year I decorated your bench with thanks to a special friend. I aimed for a unicorn theme thinking maybe you'd like them as much as your little sister, who at nearly 15 is not much younger than what you would have been.

I really do wish with all my heart you could be here today Lucy. Would have loved so much to make your birthdays so special, and though I try my best to do what I can, nothing ever seems enough. I miss you so much and my heart aches for the time we've missed out on. The time we'll never have. 

Happy birthday sweetheart. Visit me in my dreams x

Love forever Mummy xxxx